Spring

And just like that it is Spring again.

My lone tulip is dropping its petals.  My apple tree is blossoming in the most glorious way.  Soon there will be lilacs.  Then the roses will start.  Later in the year the 4 o'clocks will show up. 

Always there are the pansies I plant every year right around Will's birthday. 

And also there is Mother's Day.  Looming.  Is it really seven years since that terrible Mother's Day when I called the cops on Mark?  I guess it is. 

I am feeling gloomy this season and I don't much care for it. Spring should be a time of renewal.  As it is, I think I might not plant the vegetable garden this year.  I'm not sure I have enough nurture in me.  With nobody looking out for me specifically, I don't know that I want to look out for one more thing.

Work is interesting and I'm finding my way.  I want to concentrate on that and on riding my bike and swimming and running and caring for kids.  Not plants outside suffering under the summer sun.

Which may be why I love my flowers so much.  Only the pansies need a little of my time.  The tulip and the apple tree and the lilacs and the roses and the 4 o'clocks just show up.  They are like friends showing up with dinner and wine, unbidden. If I sit on the back porch very long I will be covered in apple blossoms.  It is beautiful and peaceful.  I had a bonfire last night as the apple blossoms slowly drifted down like slow snow.