*filed under things I can't blog*
What happens when you have spent the past almost 30 years doing things for others, taking care of others, prioritizing others...when nobody has been doing that for you? I wake up some days feeling blank.
A friend who just ended a long standing career in academia said she feels the same. Just blank.
We are both trying to build new lives, but can't see ourselves in the crowd. I am trying to do things I like, but I'm no longer really sure what I like. I know what my kids like and I know what the men in my life liked.
I enjoy things, but there are big empty gaps right now. I am trying to discover what I want to do.
I think this happens to moms a lot but it is not only the realm of the mom. My sister has written for others for years and has found she has trouble writing for herself. We give ourselves to others because that is what we do. What happens when the others are done.
I am searching. I find joy in small things, but don't have any long term plans for myself. I never have. Plans for myself have always included someone else and now I'm realizing I have to make plans for me alone.
I think I need suggestions.
ah yes,...i have the empty nest looming after over 30 years ...where to focus next is a big concern.
ReplyDeleteYep. Start small, and remember that it is okay to do things for yourself and allow yourself to trust that you will find what you need.
ReplyDelete